Marriage is the oldest relationship in the world, established by a sovereign Creator in the Garden of Eden. In that beautiful, perfect setting, God organised the home by assigning roles and defining responsibilities to Adam and Eve.
Adam was to be the provider (“to tend” the garden), the protector (“to keep” the garden), and the leader (“The Lord God commanded the man…). His assigned occupation was to care for the garden and this in it (Gen. 2:15-17). This demanded the type of servant leadership emulated by Jesus (Eph. 5:21-33). Certainly there is no room for abuse or tyranny directed to a wife on the part of her husband, nor is there the option of a wife’s wilful disregard for her husband’s leadership.
The woman’s responsibilities were several: She was to be a “helper” (Gen. 2:18), a comforter (Gen. 24:67), and an encourager (Prov. 31:12, 26). Eve was Adam’s partner for carrying out God’s purpose to multiply and replenish the earth (Gen. 1:28). She was to be his closest earthly companion, relieving his loneliness (Gen. 1:18).
When sin entered the world, chaos followed. God’s plan did not change, but it was distorted by the sinful choices of Adam and Eve and their descendants. God let Adam and Eve choose to sin, but He did not let them choose sin’s consequences. Fear emerged; they were afraid to face God because of their disobedience (Gen. 3:10). They were cast out of their idyllic home with this foretelling: Adam’s work would become difficult because he would have to contend with thorns and thistles (Gen. 3:17-18), and Eve would suffer pain in childbirth (Gen. 3:16). Adam and Eve and their posterity would have spiritual warfare until the end of time.
Despite the failure of Adam and Eve, God’s principles for marriage have remained the same – according to their God-defined roles, husbands are to use their God-given authority to provide, to protect, and to love (Gen. 2:15-17; Eph. 5:25), and wives are to help their husbands and submit to their God-directed leadership (Gen. 2:18; Eph:23-24). Husbands and wives can ignore God’s program for the home, but when a spiritual principle is violated, division is the result. They can seek to redefine God’s plan according to their own desires and circumstances, but ultimately human wisdom cannot compete with the all-wise God. There can be no unity, no contentment, and no peace – only a house divided – in a marriage that defies God’s principles. Husbands and wives are challenged to spend time, energy, and creativity looking for ways to conform to servant leadership and Christ-like submission.